577 reviews
$24.99

 

Star Spangled American Flag Silkies

"I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.

George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do. It was Freedom time.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and these shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."

  • 100% Silky Smooth Poly
  • Elastic waistband
  • Inside pocket
  • Built-in liner brief for maximum comfort

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Star Spangled American Flag Silkies

"I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.

George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do. It was Freedom time.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and these shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."

Customer Reviews
5.0 Based on 577 Reviews
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CG
02/29/2020
Connor G.
United States United States
I recommend this product
I was unprepared.

I wasn’t ready for these Silkies. I bought them to show my patriotic side in the gym. To my surprise I opened the package and immediately sank to my knees and cried tears of pure joy and by pure joy I mean Jack Daniel’s whiskey. I slipped on the shorts and my max squat increased by 200lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face and looked in the mirror, that’s when I saw him. George Washington. He gave me an all knowing nod and then I knew what I needed to do. I jumped out my second story window and out of nowhere my shorts transformed me into a bald eagle. I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on isis positions. Then I returned home and transformed again, this time into a 1967 Shelby GT500. I drove all night until my arrival to Pussytown.

L
12/24/2019
Lunchbox
United States United States
I recommend this product
Soft as an Angels kiss

I got these for the Annual F**k Isis party we have. The package arrived and when I opened it I heard angels singing because of how soft and silky these clothing of the Gods felt. All I can say is if you don’t own a pair or 10 of these then something is wrong with you.

MN
12/24/2019
Michael N.
United States United States
I recommend this product
My neighbors cower in fear

Silkies have long been my garment of choice but I've always hesitated getting the wild colors and patterns. I know now that my hesitation was wise. My neighborhood has been disrupted by these beauties. My men neighbors are ashamed of the glory I am displaying, their wives are all finding reasons to stop by the front yard. (Quite awkward since I'm a **** and wet house wives do **** for me) Recently a teenage girl took out a mailbox driving through the neighborhood she was so distracted by these thighs. I was also called Daddy by the guy that runs past every evening... he looked very confused by his desires. What I'm telling you is these things are powerful and you should wield that power with caution. I'm out here raking leaves, making house wives wet, shaming chicken legged men, creating bisexual men, and destroying parts of the postal service. Weild them wisely. On a serious note I purchased xl due to these big thighs while the silkies fit awesome. The "leg holes"(?) In the built in briefs leave no worries that my meat or potatoes are going to wiggle out. That elastic is military grade. ***** so strong it doubles as a tourniquet, or an improvised grenade launcher with a 100 yard range. To recap the leg holes are tight and these shorts make most holes wet, and cause men to question their sexuality. 12\10 would recommend.

MM
06/30/2020
Mark M.
United States United States
I recommend this product
I haven’t taken them off all weekend

They fit as expected (totally awesome) I put them on and instantly felt a wave of patriotic fervor crash over my chiseled quads. Right then I knew with out a doubt these Would drive my wife to the brink. I could see her embarrassed glare in my minds eye as clear as the bars and stars in my reflection

CS
06/30/2020
Christopher S.
United States United States
I recommend this product
Merican as F��CK

Let me start by saying how proud I am to serve this great country. But after donning these star spangled patriot pantaloons, I could feel the collective weight of all of Mount Rushmore channeled through the 'atta boy *** slap that Uncle Sam himself bestowed upon my fourth point of contact. Immediately upon walking outside, a bald eagle being valiantly piloted through the sky by a sleeveless George Washington action figure shed a single tear of liberty that fell on to my very own cheek. As I said, I'm proud to serve my country, but I have never felt the pride returned to me as much as when wearing these silkies. God Bless America!

JUST SEEN

Shipment Explanation

This item is special. Like you! We have so many designs that we can only keep a handful in stock. So special items like this are only made when you purchase them. Trust us, it's worth the wait!

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