I wasn’t ready for these Silkies. I bought them to show my patriotic side in the gym. To my surprise I opened the package and immediately sank to my knees and cried tears of pure joy and by pure joy I mean Jack Daniel’s whiskey. I slipped on the shorts and my max squat increased by 200lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face and looked in the mirror, that’s when I saw him. George Washington. He gave me an all knowing nod and then I knew what I needed to do. I jumped out my second story window and out of nowhere my shorts transformed me into a bald eagle. I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on isis positions. Then I returned home and transformed again, this time into a 1967 Shelby GT500. I drove all night until my arrival to Pussytown.
I got these for the Annual F**k Isis party we have. The package arrived and when I opened it I heard angels singing because of how soft and silky these clothing of the Gods felt. All I can say is if you don’t own a pair or 10 of these then something is wrong with you.
Silkies have long been my garment of choice but I've always hesitated getting the wild colors and patterns. I know now that my hesitation was wise. My neighborhood has been disrupted by these beauties. My men neighbors are ashamed of the glory I am displaying, their wives are all finding reasons to stop by the front yard. (Quite awkward since I'm a **** and wet house wives do **** for me) Recently a teenage girl took out a mailbox driving through the neighborhood she was so distracted by these thighs. I was also called Daddy by the guy that runs past every evening... he looked very confused by his desires. What I'm telling you is these things are powerful and you should wield that power with caution. I'm out here raking leaves, making house wives wet, shaming chicken legged men, creating bisexual men, and destroying parts of the postal service. Weild them wisely. On a serious note I purchased xl due to these big thighs while the silkies fit awesome. The "leg holes"(?) In the built in briefs leave no worries that my meat or potatoes are going to wiggle out. That elastic is military grade. ***** so strong it doubles as a tourniquet, or an improvised grenade launcher with a 100 yard range. To recap the leg holes are tight and these shorts make most holes wet, and cause men to question their sexuality. 12\10 would recommend.
Last year my wife entered me In a fitness competition. I had zero chance of winning so I figured I'd at least look *** smackingly good on stage in some silkies. I ordered 3 pair. Spangled, colors don't run. and Aloha lil oozis. I pit these silkies on and lost 40 lbs over night. Abs appeared out of thin air....it was a fitness miracle! To this day, I wear these silkies in my work outs. Since being home from an Elongated stay in the hospital with COVID I've gained all my weight back and am back on track to being a war machine. Thanks Semper silkies!
The first time I wore these golden, liberty-loving Ranger Panties to the gym, my squat max increased by 728%! The first time I wore these nut huggers to the pool, I was approached by a Victoria's Secret model for my phone number. If George Washington had these shorts during his time, he would have worn them crossing the Delaware. True story.
This item is special. Like you! We have so many designs that we can only keep a handful in stock. So special items like this are only made when you purchase them. Trust us, it's worth the wait!