5 Reviews
$24.99

"Since buying these silkies: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser out of a 12 oz can. Border patrol agents monitor my fence line. The terrorists have put me on a watch list.

These shorts are the real deal; a Russian guy put these on and caught fire. the silkies survived. because America. If you still haven't bought a pair it's because you lack testicular fortitude."


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"Since buying these silkies: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser out of a 12 oz can. Border patrol agents monitor my fence line. The terrorists have put me on a watch list.

These shorts are the real deal; a Russian guy put these on and caught fire. the silkies survived. because America. If you still haven't bought a pair it's because you lack testicular fortitude."

Customer Reviews

4.6 Based on 5 Reviews
5 ★
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AA
10/03/2019
Austin A.
I recommend this product

Showcased my legs of mass destruction, but couldn't handle the fallout...

Like any real man I appreciate a great pair of silkies, especially when a built in liner allows you to freeball home and away. As a triathlete and powerlifter/strongman my silkies are my go to for training sessions, and as a Project Manager who works remotely they're adorn my tushy daily. When I saw these during the hunt for a new pair of star spangled shorty shorts, I threw my no impulse buy rule out the door and tallied these up as a need! Functionality: The shorts fit my hams and waist incredibly well. They're stretchy and lightweight. While they wear incredibly well and are comfortable around the house and in public, I'm less than enthused with their performance under pressure. The first day I wore these was to the gym for, naturally leg day...which is every day. I use a smooth axle deadlift bar (no knurling and this is important) and liked that the shorts hold snug and high allowing for comfortable movement. However, after my workout I noticed that there were significant signs of wear on the right thigh and snagging of material appearing (pictures attached). The bar never touched the face of the short, but instead pushed it up into a bunch from below the hem each rep. Their stamina under a 495lb double overhand axle deadlift was not to par with that of my grip. I routinely wear silkies on my runs, and the one time I wore this particular pair I noticed that they are not built to moisture wick nor dry effectively. After 6 miles in some heat, the shorts were completely saturated and despite my wringing strength still took about 2 hours to dry out. This makes for an uncomfortable run and shoes full of sweat, not to mention a little discomfort for the boys when you freeball it. Overall, they don't perform the way that other silkies I own do, notably my 2 year old GoRuck Ranger silkies which are the gold standard. The design is incredibly patriotic and I love the company mission, but unfortunately unless these are a purchase for leisure or moderate physical activity (like maybe playing bags or horseshoes, whatever Betas who do moderate activity do), these aren't going to fall into the realm of functionality or durability. I love the shorts, and wear them when I buy all the meat that Aldi has stocked, and if the quality were improved to be of superior silkies material I would likely buy 2 more pair to keep in my Dopp Kit.

Austin Althaber verified customer review of American AFAustin Althaber verified customer review of American AFAustin Althaber verified customer review of American AF
DC
10/02/2019
Donovan C.
United States United States
I recommend this product

George Washington is jealous

Fuc*ing amazing, the first response I get is where and how much. I've had vets come up to me and talk about how cool these silkies are they really make you feel like a badass

JS
10/02/2019
Jessica S.
United States United States
I recommend this product

My husband loves them

I bought these as a funny gift for my husband. He absolutely loves them. He wears them when ever he can now.

CD
10/02/2019
Cordell D.
United States United States
I recommend this product

Absolutely Amazing

Upon putting them on I instantly grew a mullet and Natty light appeared in my fridge. My 4runner rose 2 more inches and my tires grew tread. When I got it George Washington was in the passenger seat with an AR 15. From that moment on I knew that these Silkies were special. They empower you with all Freedom that your body can hold.

Cordell D. verified customer review of American AF
BG
10/02/2019
Benjamin G.
United States United States
I recommend this product

Making My Legs Great Again

These silliest cradle your junk like a soft set of hands that have been lotioned well, the screaming eagle stares in amazement at your veiny bulge, nothing makes your ***** legs more American than showing them off completley in these shorts from the gods, Semper Fo

JUST SEEN

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