PHOTOS
"Since buying these silkies: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser out of a 12 oz can. Border patrol agents monitor my fence line. The terrorists have put me on a watch list.
These shorts are the real deal; a Russian guy put these on and caught fire. the silkies survived. because America. If you still haven't bought a pair it's because you lack testicular fortitude."
"Since buying these silkies: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser out of a 12 oz can. Border patrol agents monitor my fence line. The terrorists have put me on a watch list.
These shorts are the real deal; a Russian guy put these on and caught fire. the silkies survived. because America. If you still haven't bought a pair it's because you lack testicular fortitude."
Customer Reviews
4.6
Based on 5 Reviews
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AA
10/03/2019
Austin A.
I recommend this product
Showcased my legs of mass destruction, but couldn't handle the fallout...
Like any real man I appreciate a great pair of silkies, especially when a built in liner allows you to freeball home and away. As a triathlete and powerlifter/strongman my silkies are my go to for training sessions, and as a Project Manager who works remotely they're adorn my tushy daily. When I saw these during the hunt for a new pair of star spangled shorty shorts, I threw my no impulse buy rule out the door and tallied these up as a need! Functionality: The shorts fit my hams and waist incredibly well. They're stretchy and lightweight. While they wear incredibly well and are comfortable around the house and in public, I'm less than enthused with their performance under pressure. The first day I wore these was to the gym for, naturally leg day...which is every day. I use a smooth axle deadlift bar (no knurling and this is important) and liked that the shorts hold snug and high allowing for comfortable movement. However, after my workout I noticed that there were significant signs of wear on the right thigh and snagging of material appearing (pictures attached). The bar never touched the face of the short, but instead pushed it up into a bunch from below the hem each rep. Their stamina under a 495lb double overhand axle deadlift was not to par with that of my grip. I routinely wear silkies on my runs, and the one time I wore this particular pair I noticed that they are not built to moisture wick nor dry effectively. After 6 miles in some heat, the shorts were completely saturated and despite my wringing strength still took about 2 hours to dry out. This makes for an uncomfortable run and shoes full of sweat, not to mention a little discomfort for the boys when you freeball it. Overall, they don't perform the way that other silkies I own do, notably my 2 year old GoRuck Ranger silkies which are the gold standard. The design is incredibly patriotic and I love the company mission, but unfortunately unless these are a purchase for leisure or moderate physical activity (like maybe playing bags or horseshoes, whatever Betas who do moderate activity do), these aren't going to fall into the realm of functionality or durability. I love the shorts, and wear them when I buy all the meat that Aldi has stocked, and if the quality were improved to be of superior silkies material I would likely buy 2 more pair to keep in my Dopp Kit.
DC
10/02/2019
Donovan C.
United StatesI recommend this product
George Washington is jealous
Fuc*ing amazing, the first response I get is where and how much. I've had vets come up to me and talk about how cool these silkies are they really make you feel like a badass
JS
10/02/2019
Jessica S.
United StatesI recommend this product
My husband loves them
I bought these as a funny gift for my husband. He absolutely loves them. He wears them when ever he can now.
CD
10/02/2019
Cordell D.
United StatesI recommend this product
Absolutely Amazing
Upon putting them on I instantly grew a mullet and Natty light appeared in my fridge. My 4runner rose 2 more inches and my tires grew tread. When I got it George Washington was in the passenger seat with an AR 15. From that moment on I knew that these Silkies were special. They empower you with all Freedom that your body can hold.
BG
10/02/2019
Benjamin G.
United StatesI recommend this product
Making My Legs Great Again
These silliest cradle your junk like a soft set of hands that have been lotioned well, the screaming eagle stares in amazement at your veiny bulge, nothing makes your ***** legs more American than showing them off completley in these shorts from the gods, Semper Fo
425
American Flag Silkies"I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure...
26
Lace up with these murdery ass aloha silkies for those sunny days.
Grab a matching shirt set > Aloha MK17 Shirt
18
Lace up with these murdery ass aloha silkies for those sunny days.
Grab a matching shirt set > Aloha MK18 Shirt
10
What's more patriotic than slapping on some Daisy Dukes of Freedom and letting your legs catch some rays?
Excl. postage