425 Reviews
$24.99

 

American Flag Silkies

"I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.

George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do. It was Freedom time.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and these shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."


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American Flag Silkies

"I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.

George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do. It was Freedom time.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and these shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."

Customer Reviews

5.0 Based on 425 Reviews
5 ★
99% 
419
4 ★
1% 
6
3 ★
0% 
0
2 ★
0% 
0
1 ★
0% 
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N
10/17/2019
Nick
United States United States
I recommend this product

Fairly dank head turners

These shorts are pretty sweet. I've worn them for the day, since I went to bed last night. I wore them under pants when I was yeeting with my shotgun earlier, and the blood flow to my ******** alone kept my legs warm. The only non awesome thing is that the rough edges on the tag began to chafe my baby smooth butt skin. Consider printed tags, not stitched. 11/10 would buy again

Nick verified customer review of Star Spangled Silkies
AG
10/10/2019
Alex G.
United States United States
I recommend this product

Ohhhh F*ck yeah!

They totally feel like they are made of bald eagle down feathers!

Alex G. verified customer review of Star Spangled Silkies
DM
09/04/2019
Daniel M.
United States United States
I recommend this product

Is this even real life?

Shorts so short they make Mormons uncomfortable. Chuck Norris once said(so I’m told) that the pure essence of freedom is freeing yourself to be who you are no matter who you are. To free yourself from the fear of others knowing who you are and respecting yourself for who you are, are the most crucial steps for inner peace. These silkies are my inner peace. That being said walking into work with my balls supported, yet my thighs fully ready to roundhouse someone to the face (without all the swampyness of parachute pants) has been a boon. My boss is considering making silkies the summer uniform, assuming the lawyers iron out all those pesky ****** harassment lawsuits. So thanks for making dreams come true. Keep up the good work.

BT
08/09/2019
Brooke T.
United States United States
I recommend this product

Giving a 4 out of 5 but for delivery not quality

These are wonderful. My husband was so excited and absolutely loves them. I am giving a 4 out of 5 only because of the glitches with the delivery process. We are still waiting on another pair! My order was placed on May 23..........I would recommend them but I really hope the company can figure things out. I ordered these for my husband for father's day, I eventually had to tell him because he thought I didn't get him anything at all.

JS
08/09/2019
Jeffrey S.
United States United States
I recommend this product

Let me tell you a little story..

ABOUT FREEEEEDDDDOOOMM!! Minus these things being way late, they’re awesome. I feel more free than a bald eagle soaring over Mount Rushmore on the god damn Fourth of July during a flyby of A-10 warthogs.

Jeffrey S. verified customer review of Star Spangled Silkies
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